Two Months in Heaven

Today is my mom's two month anniversary of being with Jesus.  I'm sure she's not keeping track of time, but for us down here still, it's hard not to.  It still is hard to grasp that she's no longer here.  Especially at this time of year - her FAVORITE time of year!  She spent most of the rest of the year thinking about Christmas.  It truly was a magical time of year for her.

She usually would begin to decorate for Christmas in early November.  She always had new "tweaks" to improve upon what she had previously done, and with technological advances, she was constantly updating, like to a fully lighted tree that she (or I) didn't have to string.  She had some of the most fragile ornaments I've ever seen, and she wasn't afraid to display them, even when the grandkids were little.  They all learned very quickly not to touch the pretties.  It was fun when she would have them "help" her decorate.  They loved doing it with their Mimi.

She never had just one tree, as long as I can remember.  When we were little, they were always real fir trees.  That was always a trip!  She had to pick JUST the RIGHT one, the one that had the perfect proportions & was the perfect height.  It never turned out well if she had to try to "shape" the tree.  Oops!  Oh no!  Oops!  We usually got our trees at Georgetown Square.  There was the one especially memorable year that she wanted to "flock" the tree to make it look like it was laden with snow.  I don't know what that "flocking" was made of, but it was a white, sticky powder that hardened once it was blown onto the tree.  She & my dad were outside on our front porch (we lived in Grabill, just across the street from Grabill Missionary Church at the time) in the freezing cold, trying to use their vacuum cleaner to blow the stuff on the tree.  It clumped & clogged & got all over the place.  I don't think I've ever seen them laugh so hard!  That is a precious memory we will never forget!

We were all delighted when fake trees became more realistic & affordable.  No more sticky, clumpy trees!  We always had our own little trees in our own bedrooms, along with a very old wooden stable for Mary, Joseph & Baby Jesus.  It had a wind-up music box that played "Away In A Manger".  I loved falling to sleep listening to it play.  

My mom was never into multi-colored lights.  It was always soft & serene blue lights, with some white ones in there too.  She wanted to create a peaceful, welcoming, calming Christmas setting.  It was so beautiful when she got the bushes out front all lit up, and put the blue bulbs in the outside lights.  Then she had the fake candles in the windows, with blue bulbs, of course.  Candles were always lit throughout the holiday.  And she always had her ceramic creations displayed all over the house - a Santa cookie jar, a huge nativity set, carolers of different sizes, elves, snowmen, Mary & Joseph...  She knew how to make a home beautiful, comfortable & inviting.

Her trees were always STUFFED with ornaments, balls, icicles, bows, garland, flower arrangements, stars, and at least 5000 lights.  I have never figured out how she stuffed a tree with so much stuff & yet made it look so glamorous!  She usually had the main tree in the dining room, with a white tree in the living room.  She would use "frost spray" to make the mirrors & windows look icy.  She changed the plates & glasses to match the blue color scheme & she always seemed to have goodies galore during the holidays.  

It was magical for us girls to watch her transform our home into a winter wonderland.  Every picture on the wall was changed for Christmas.  Every photo in frames were switched out to Christmas memories.  Even our towels were changed to match the theme!  Christmas was her favorite time of year, and it became ours, too.

This year is so different!  Because of the toll her illness has taken on my dad's health, as well as my own & Connie's, to some extent, we haven't even begun to decorate.  It seems wrong, I know.  My amazing aunts have decorated the outside of the house, which my dad loves.  But he said it's up to us girls to get the tree up.  And that's what we aim to do tomorrow.  We're going to meet at his house in the afternoon, bring the tree down & get started on making it the most beautiful tree in the world, in honor of the most beautiful wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter & friend.  It won't be at all like she would do it, but it will keep her spirit close to our hearts anyway.

Happy 2nd month in Heaven, Mother!  Although my heart aches to talk to you just one more time, I know that some day that time will come.  I doubt we'll talk about Christmas trees, though!  Oh, what a comfort it brings to know that we will be united together in Heaven through Christ's atonement on the Cross, which was made possible by his humble birth in a manger all those years ago.  Thank you, Jesus, for your sacrificial love for us!

Special Tuesdays

The past couple of Tuesday evenings have been really cool.  Since my mom’s passing, Connie, Kristie & I go over every Tuesday night to sort through our mom’s stuff.  If you know anything about Kay, you know that she was a decorator to the nth degree.  She has several rooms filled (and I mean FILLED) with decorating items - flowers, vases, frames, pictures, nick-knacks, etc.  My dad has no use for those items & would like to reclaim some of those rooms.  So it’s the “duty” of us girls to sort through everything & decide what to do with it.  We figure we’ll be working on this project for a couple of years.  Father thinks it should only take a couple of months.  Then he just wants to pitch whatever we haven’t gone through.  NO WAY!

Anyway, a week ago Connie & I were there & were sorting through PILES of photos trying to find some pictures of her Christmas decorations in the house.  We want to get the tree up & decorate as close to her plan as possible.  As we were going through the piles of photos, we’d come across other items she saved as well.  I found a letter written on legal paper.  It was from me.  It was dated 7-7-85.  My wedding day.  As I read the letter I wrote to my mother on my wedding day, I started to cry.  Here’s what I wrote 25 years ago:



“Mommy:

I just want to tell you that I love you very much.  This morning when you weren’t here, I saw how awkward we all are without you.  You should have seen Connie trying to find Daddy a pair of matching socks!

You have such an amazing love.  I don’t understand how you can give so much but I praise God for giving me you.

I was a little upset last night.  I was upset because so many people are showing us so much love and there’s no way for us to express our appreciation.  That is very frustrating.  I tried to help out afterwards to show a little of my appreciation, but it backfired and a broke a pedestal.  That really upset me.  I could never do it right and all I could do is ruin other’s lives.

The only thing I know I can do is write.  So that’s what I’ll do to say I love you.

    Someday I’ll write you a song with words of joy and praise.
    The melody I will make, and I’ll sing it every day.

    Someday I’ll paint you a picture, with flowers, mountains and trees
    And when it comes to life, my song will echo in the leaves.

    Someday we’ll be together always, singing praises to our Lord.
    And when we get into His kingdom, we’ll never ever be bored.
   
    Someday my wish of love will come true; unhappiness we will shun.
    But until that someday all I can do is pray, “Please, Lord, quickly come!”

I love you Mommy!  Forever yours,
    Julie”



After I read what I had written & cried through it, I gave it to my dad to read.  He cried, too.  Then I found another poem I wrote when I was younger.  It made us laugh!



    To a mom who is so sweet
    A poem that just can’t be beat.

    Mom, I hope you know
    I really, really love you so.

    You told me always to be good
    And in the rain to wear a hood.

    You taught me how to meet my fate
    And also how to roller skate.

    And when I would fall down
    You’d tell me to get up off the ground
    And dust myself off
    And fly like a moth.

    You made me keep my room so clean
    And then I thought that you were mean.

    I love you and you love me
    And that’s the way it’ll always be.



We found some great pictures, some that we’ve never seen before.  Connie accumulated a pile of pictures that she’s going to scan for all of us to get copies.    We did find several pictures of the Christmas decorations, and then we looked at each other & sighed.  There’s no way we will be able to do justice to her decorating.  But we’re gonna give it our best shot anyway!

Yesterday, Tuesday, we met again at my dad’s house.  Kristie was sick, so it was just Connie & I.  Alec, Kristie’s 18 year old son, also came to make dinner for all of us.  Cajun chicken. 

While Alec was in the kitchen “chef-ing”, Richard Lengacher came over to show us memorial stones.  My dad really wanted to get that taken care of & out of the way.  Richard had a book with photos of many memorial stones, as well as a sample of marble with different etching styles & such.  We wanted to keep it simple, but fittingly reflective of both Bob & Kay.  We chose a pinkish stone, similar to Timmy & Vickie’s, which are directly across the drive from my mom’s grave.  Before she was unable to communicate anymore, my mom finally told Connie that she wanted interlocking hearts on the grave stone.  Why she waited so long to tell her that, we don’t know.  But we drew up an illustration of how we want the stone to look, with interlocking hearts in the center.  Connie & I are font junkies.  We are VERY particular about fonts.  Connie found one called “Eaglefeather” that we liked, so the names & dates will be in that font.  We came up with the idea of asking Uncle Rich, our mom’s brother, to write “ANDERSON” for the top of the stone.  Kay loved his handwriting & would be so honored to have his writing engraved on her memorial.

Richard finished up with us just as Alec finished our meal.  I was surprised that the Cajun chicken wasn’t as spicy as feared.  It was delicious!  The vegetables were very tender & flavorful.  Alec’s culinary prowess wowed me.

After we had finished eating, Alec started to ask questions.  Spiritual questions.  It was so cool to sit there for an hour & a half, talking about the truths of Scripture & what certain passage really mean.  Alec is really growing in his faith right now & he’s ravenously hungry for Truth.  It is just the most awesome thing to witness!  His questions were very honest, solid questions & the motivation of his heart in asking them was transparent.  Connie, my dad & I kind of tag-team answered his questions.  My dad was completely in his giftedness, discipling his grandson & using creative reasoning to explain spiritual concepts.  You could tell that he felt God using him to minister to Alec.  He longs to get back in the saddle of ministry!  But that might be a while.

My dad had appointments with his pulmonologist & cardiologist on Monday.  His pulmonologist said that he has some fluid in his right lung, and he is unsure why it is there.  He doesn’t want to drain it yet, but he wants to keep an eye on it.  His cardiologist said that once again he has fluid building up in his pericardium.  It’s not dangerous (yet), but he doesn’t understand why it is there.  He ended up chalking it up to some nebulous virus that he will just have to fight on his own.  He’s also going to keep an eye on the fluid around his heart.  Thursday my dad has an appointment with his ENT regarding his hearing, which isn’t improving.  He knows from his last appointment that there is fluid behind his eardrum for some reason.  Guess what?  His ENT doesn’t know why it’s there.  Familiar theme!

Because of how fatigued he is as a result of these health issues, Bob is not able to begin serving as the school chaplain at Lakewood Park Christian School, where he formerly taught 6th grade.  He has to regain his strength & get some resolution to the fluid build-up issue before he feels that he can handle jumping in to his new position.  His health problems are also going to prevent him from being able to travel to Grotton, Connecticut in a couple of weeks to see his grandson Austin graduate fro “A” School (sub school in the Navy).  He is upset about that, but can’t do anything to change it.  Thankfully, following graduation Todd will be helping Austin move back home.  He will be in Indiana for a couple of weeks & then will head to Georgia for more sub school.  So Papaw will have some time with Austin when he’s here for Christmas. 

If you think about it, please send a card of encouragement to Bob.  He really could use the boost of support.  His address is 15823 Arrowhead Blvd., Grabill IN 46741.  Phone calls are hard for him because of his hearing, so that’s not the best way to express your concern right now.

Hopefully in the next few days we can get over there & get some Christmas decorations up.  That will brighten his environment & cheer him up! 

"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.  He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.  With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation." Psalm 91:14-16

First Thanksgiving

It was with mixed emotions that I entered our First Thanksgiving.  Yes, there have been many Thanksgivings before, but this is the first without my mom.  What is Thanksgiving without Mom?  Fundamentally, it just isn’t right.

We began the day at our house with everyone but Jess spending the night before.  Jess & Jeff (with Tidus, their English Bulldog) came & woke everyone up so that we could enjoy our tradition of Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade with Can’t Tell’s.  Can’t Tell’s originated in approximately 1996 & have been a tradition ever since.  I was in the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning, making Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls for the kids to eat while watching the parade.  Colson, who was 3 and ALWAYS wanted to know what was going on, came into the kitchen & asked me what I was making.  “I can’t tell.” I said.  Colson saw the cinnamon roll dough in the pan & figured it out.  He took off like a flash & ran to find his brother & sisters to excitedly tell them “Mommy’s making Can’t Tells!”  The name stuck.

After eating the wondrous delicacies (that I burned on the bottom), we played with pups, watched football & cooked.  We were to meet everyone else at my dad’s around 3:00 for dinner.  Jess & Rachel peeled 15 pounds of potatoes!  I think their hands were sore afterwards!  My Aunt Pam (Norton) kindly made some pie crusts for us & I filled them with banana cream, peanut butter & pumpkin.  We also took some sweet potatoes, my mom’s absolute favorite.

We arrived a little late (Herman time) & were warmly greeted by my dad, who had been looking forward to this day for weeks.  It would be the first time since my mom’s Celebration that we all would be together (minus Austin, who is nearing graduation from A school for subs in the Navy).  Kristie had the turkeys done & they were perfect.  Connie got there later than anyone (very unusual) & brought green bean casserole & her always in demand escalloped corn.  Todd & the kids brought bread & Alyssa put together an elaborate, colorful salad.  The food was all there.

Everyone stuffed themselves quite sufficiently, and almost all of those 15 pounds of potatoes were gone!  Kristie bragged about her amazing gravy (I cannot make gravy.  It’s my one weakness.), and I reminded her that without my amazing potatoes, the gravy would be pretty unremarkable.  There was a lot of laughter around the table as we ate, and it was a great time.

Following dinner, my dad wanted all of us to meet in the basement.  Apparently in the morning he found something my mom had left for him to open on Thanksgiving.  In the note, she explained that she wanted all of us to view a video that had been meaningful to her.  We all watched a Men’s Fraternity video about eternity.  The message addressed our world view in relation to eternity & was very clearly delivered.  My mom wanted to make sure that every one of us - daughters, grandsons & granddaughters, sons-in-law - would see her again in Heaven.  Following the video, my dad said that it was my mom’s request that he take her final Social Security check & distribute it to everyone in the family.  She assumed that this time of year things could be challenging financially & she wanted to give us the last bit of help she had.  We all received a $50 bill to use as we needed.  For Bob & I, this couldn’t have come at a better time.  We didn’t have any money to purchase some medications, or to put gas in the car so that Bob could get to work.  God used my mom’s thoughtful generosity to provide for our needs, right when we needed it most.  Isn’t that just like God?

Because of the financial burden caused by my health problems & Bob’s stroke, compounded by Bob losing his job at the church & being unemployed until July, we have had to file for bankruptcy.  Not only are we filing bankruptcy, but the people with whom we had a contract for the sale of our previous home have informed us that they are unable to purchase the home because of their own catastrophic health expenses.  The home we had on County Road 60 is in foreclosure now.  Bankruptcy & foreclosure.  Unthinkable, but our reality.

In March, 2009, we never would have imagined that we would be where we are today.  So much has happened in the past year & a half.  So much pain.  So much struggle.  So much hurt.  So much change.  So much disappointment.  So much loss.  So much loneliness, uncertainty & helplessness.  But in the midst of our struggles & pain we can truly find reasons to give thanks.  We have confidence through Christ Jesus our Lord that we will prevail!  Through His victory on the cross over sin & death, we have the right to become sons of God, to be heirs of eternal life, to be given the blessing of having a personal relationship with God!  What more do we need?  He is all we need.

“For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4:11-13

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  May you, also, find contentment in the midst of your current life circumstances.

Joolz