Anyway, a week ago Connie & I were there & were sorting through PILES of photos trying to find some pictures of her Christmas decorations in the house. We want to get the tree up & decorate as close to her plan as possible. As we were going through the piles of photos, we’d come across other items she saved as well. I found a letter written on legal paper. It was from me. It was dated 7-7-85. My wedding day. As I read the letter I wrote to my mother on my wedding day, I started to cry. Here’s what I wrote 25 years ago:
“Mommy:
I just want to tell you that I love you very much. This morning when you weren’t here, I saw how awkward we all are without you. You should have seen Connie trying to find Daddy a pair of matching socks!
You have such an amazing love. I don’t understand how you can give so much but I praise God for giving me you.
I was a little upset last night. I was upset because so many people are showing us so much love and there’s no way for us to express our appreciation. That is very frustrating. I tried to help out afterwards to show a little of my appreciation, but it backfired and a broke a pedestal. That really upset me. I could never do it right and all I could do is ruin other’s lives.
The only thing I know I can do is write. So that’s what I’ll do to say I love you.
Someday I’ll write you a song with words of joy and praise.
The melody I will make, and I’ll sing it every day.
Someday I’ll paint you a picture, with flowers, mountains and trees
And when it comes to life, my song will echo in the leaves.
Someday we’ll be together always, singing praises to our Lord.
And when we get into His kingdom, we’ll never ever be bored.
Someday my wish of love will come true; unhappiness we will shun.
But until that someday all I can do is pray, “Please, Lord, quickly come!”
I love you Mommy! Forever yours,
Julie”
After I read what I had written & cried through it, I gave it to my dad to read. He cried, too. Then I found another poem I wrote when I was younger. It made us laugh!
To a mom who is so sweet
A poem that just can’t be beat.
Mom, I hope you know
I really, really love you so.
You told me always to be good
And in the rain to wear a hood.
You taught me how to meet my fate
And also how to roller skate.
And when I would fall down
You’d tell me to get up off the ground
And dust myself off
And fly like a moth.
You made me keep my room so clean
And then I thought that you were mean.
I love you and you love me
And that’s the way it’ll always be.
We found some great pictures, some that we’ve never seen before. Connie accumulated a pile of pictures that she’s going to scan for all of us to get copies. We did find several pictures of the Christmas decorations, and then we looked at each other & sighed. There’s no way we will be able to do justice to her decorating. But we’re gonna give it our best shot anyway!
Yesterday, Tuesday, we met again at my dad’s house. Kristie was sick, so it was just Connie & I. Alec, Kristie’s 18 year old son, also came to make dinner for all of us. Cajun chicken.
While Alec was in the kitchen “chef-ing”, Richard Lengacher came over to show us memorial stones. My dad really wanted to get that taken care of & out of the way. Richard had a book with photos of many memorial stones, as well as a sample of marble with different etching styles & such. We wanted to keep it simple, but fittingly reflective of both Bob & Kay. We chose a pinkish stone, similar to Timmy & Vickie’s, which are directly across the drive from my mom’s grave. Before she was unable to communicate anymore, my mom finally told Connie that she wanted interlocking hearts on the grave stone. Why she waited so long to tell her that, we don’t know. But we drew up an illustration of how we want the stone to look, with interlocking hearts in the center. Connie & I are font junkies. We are VERY particular about fonts. Connie found one called “Eaglefeather” that we liked, so the names & dates will be in that font. We came up with the idea of asking Uncle Rich, our mom’s brother, to write “ANDERSON” for the top of the stone. Kay loved his handwriting & would be so honored to have his writing engraved on her memorial.
Richard finished up with us just as Alec finished our meal. I was surprised that the Cajun chicken wasn’t as spicy as feared. It was delicious! The vegetables were very tender & flavorful. Alec’s culinary prowess wowed me.
After we had finished eating, Alec started to ask questions. Spiritual questions. It was so cool to sit there for an hour & a half, talking about the truths of Scripture & what certain passage really mean. Alec is really growing in his faith right now & he’s ravenously hungry for Truth. It is just the most awesome thing to witness! His questions were very honest, solid questions & the motivation of his heart in asking them was transparent. Connie, my dad & I kind of tag-team answered his questions. My dad was completely in his giftedness, discipling his grandson & using creative reasoning to explain spiritual concepts. You could tell that he felt God using him to minister to Alec. He longs to get back in the saddle of ministry! But that might be a while.
My dad had appointments with his pulmonologist & cardiologist on Monday. His pulmonologist said that he has some fluid in his right lung, and he is unsure why it is there. He doesn’t want to drain it yet, but he wants to keep an eye on it. His cardiologist said that once again he has fluid building up in his pericardium. It’s not dangerous (yet), but he doesn’t understand why it is there. He ended up chalking it up to some nebulous virus that he will just have to fight on his own. He’s also going to keep an eye on the fluid around his heart. Thursday my dad has an appointment with his ENT regarding his hearing, which isn’t improving. He knows from his last appointment that there is fluid behind his eardrum for some reason. Guess what? His ENT doesn’t know why it’s there. Familiar theme!
Because of how fatigued he is as a result of these health issues, Bob is not able to begin serving as the school chaplain at Lakewood Park Christian School, where he formerly taught 6th grade. He has to regain his strength & get some resolution to the fluid build-up issue before he feels that he can handle jumping in to his new position. His health problems are also going to prevent him from being able to travel to Grotton, Connecticut in a couple of weeks to see his grandson Austin graduate fro “A” School (sub school in the Navy). He is upset about that, but can’t do anything to change it. Thankfully, following graduation Todd will be helping Austin move back home. He will be in Indiana for a couple of weeks & then will head to Georgia for more sub school. So Papaw will have some time with Austin when he’s here for Christmas.
If you think about it, please send a card of encouragement to Bob. He really could use the boost of support. His address is 15823 Arrowhead Blvd., Grabill IN 46741. Phone calls are hard for him because of his hearing, so that’s not the best way to express your concern right now.
Hopefully in the next few days we can get over there & get some Christmas decorations up. That will brighten his environment & cheer him up!
"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation." Psalm 91:14-16
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