2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 7)

Fiona, our little baby!

The middle of November is sort of a fog to me.  That’s because I spent nearly a week as a patient at Dupont Hospital.  It all started when I had a radio frequency ablation to some facet joints in my neck.  What’s a radio frequency ablation (RFA), you may ask?  It’s something I’ve become all too familiar with.  RFA is a procedure in which a needle-like probe is placed through the skin & muscle tissue onto specifically identified nerves surrounding the facet joints on either side of the spine.  Radio frequency waves are then used to produce heat around the nerve, destroying its ability to transmit pain signals to the brain.  RFA doesn’t “fix” anything, it just makes it so you don’t feel the pain anymore.

As I said, I’ve become all too familiar with this procedure.  I’ve probably had it done over 20 times in the last 8 years, mostly on different nerves.  Several times the nerve ending has grown back & it again began to transmit pain signals to my brain, so I’ve had to have the procedure repeated in those places.  I have a spine that is structurally unique to me, with numerous spinal anomalies.  Apparently my vertebrae are shaped abnormally, one of several birth defects I have which we’re just finding now that I’m getting older.  I’ve already had spinal fusion in my lower back & have been told by the doctor who did the fusion that I would eventually be visiting him to have vertebrae in my neck fused as well.  I had such a horrible recovery with my lower back, I am putting neck fusion off as long as I can!  Thank you, Drs. Hough & Jakacki!

To get back to the topic I began telling you about, I had an RFA done on the right side of my neck.  It was my first time to have an RFA with my new pain specialist, Dr. Julie Chao.  I left the hospital groggy as usual (I was given Versed, which causes temporary amnesia so that I won’t remember the pain caused during the procedure), but I also had a terrible headache, which was unusual.  The headache got so bad that Bob had to take me to the ER.  After conferring with Dr. Chao & Dr. Jakacki, the ER doctor decided to admit me.  I was placed on IV Dilaudid for several days.  I really don’t remember much about those days, but I clearly remember one event.  The first day I was admitted, I sent a text to close friends asking for prayer.  I got a response from a dear friend, Laura, asking what room I was in.  I texted her the room number, & was shocked to learn when she texted back that she was a patient at Dupont, too!  Josiah was with Bob visiting at the time.  I told Bob that Laura was in the hospital, too, & Josiah asked if he could visit her.  He & Laura are close.  Bob walked him down to her room & they talked for a little bit.  Laura thinks Josiah was a little shocked when he saw her, because she had been on steroids & had a puffy face from it.  Shortly after Josiah & Bob returned to my room, Josiah asked if he could go pray with Laura before he left the hospital.  How could I say no to that!  So before they left, Josiah went by himself to Laura’s room & asked her if he could pray with her.  Needless to say she was very touched by his gesture, & Bob & I were very proud of him.

When the pain in my neck didn’t subside without the use of strong pain meds, Dr. Chao decided to do another injection into my neck to deposit lidocaine at the source of the pain.  I remember looking at the needle that she was going to use & thinking it was huge!  She had me bend my head down & hold still.  Then she stuck the needle into the back of my neck, near the base of my skull, & injected the lidocaine.  She told me she put almost the entire needle in my neck!  She had to do the procedure on both sides, which wasn’t fun.  I had a really stiff neck after that, but it really helped.  After a few more days I was released to go home. 

It was such a weird ride home!  When I was admitted, everything was normal.  When I was released, everyone in the world had put up their Christmas decorations!  It made me feel like I was eons behind in my Christmas preparation!  Because of my condition, it took a couple weeks before I was able to decorate, & even then I didn’t do a lot of decorating like I usually would.  Christmas was not a holiday I looked forward to this year, because my mom was the Christmas Queen, & the Christmas Queen wasn’t going to be here this Christmas to work her magic.  The thought of never being surrounded by the beauty she created in her home was a painful thought.  It was a thought that carried with it the realization that she is indeed gone. 

The Sunday before Thanksgiving, we were given a box of food from Pathway, food which was donated by churchgoers to help those who were struggling financially.  Earlier in the month we turned our bankruptcy paperwork over to our bankruptcy attorney, Wes Steury.  He’s a great guy, a solid Christian who was the chairman of the board at 1st Missionary Church when my sister Connie attended there.  If I remember correctly, the paperwork was 26 pages long!  At that time, Bob was only making $500 a month, & my disability income was around $300, so we could not pay any of our bills...  Rent, utilities, car, medical bills like you can’t believe.  We barely had enough for food & gas for Bob to get to & from work.  But God was faithful (no surprise, so why do I always doubt Him?) & He provided what we needed.  Through Abundance from Pathway we were provided with a turkey, potatoes, canned goods, cereal, pasta, all kinds of good stuff.  They provided our Thanksgiving meal, & we are so grateful for their generosity.

Bob started his job with Parkview Home Health & Hospice on November 22.  His first day at work he almost fell asleep on the job!  Well, he was in orientation all day, which would make anyone sleepy.  He is the only Home Health Chaplain for both Huntington & Whitley counties.  He visits terminal patients mostly in their own home or a nursing home.  He hasn’t had many visits in the hospitals themselves.  You can imagine how much he has to drive.  God provided a little car for him that is perfect.  It’s a little white 1996 Geo Metro hatchback.  It has very little rust, the interior isn’t too bad (it needs some Armour All) & the engine runs great.  It has over 215,000 miles on it, though!  Kristie calls it Bob’s “clown car” because he’s so big & it’s so small.  The first time she saw it, Bob drove Isaac & I to my parents’.  Bob was in the driver’s seat, I was in the passenger seat & Isaac practically filled the back seat (it’s really compact).  She said when we started getting out of the car, it looked like a clown car at the circus.  I need to put a bright red nose on the front, & then she will be right!  Bob & his little clown car are all over the place.  We’re praying that God continues to give that little thing life, because it gets nearly 40 MPG!

Thanksgiving Day came & was definitely not like any other we had experienced.  Rachel & Isaac stayed over night the night before Thanksgiving.  It’s kind of become a tradition that on Thanksgiving morning I make cinnamon rolls (from a can) for everyone to eat while watching the Macy’s parade.  Years ago when Colson was less than 5, I began this tradition.  Now something you have to know about Colson is that he always wants to know what’s going on.  Even from a very young age, he would ask where we were going, what we were doing, why we were doing it...  If it was truly something he needed to know, I would answer, but if it was just pesky inquisitiveness I wouldn’t answer.  Well, on the first Thanksgiving morning that I did this, he came into the kitchen & saw that I was making something.  “Whatcha makin’?” he asked.  “Can’t tell” I answered back.  He turned around, ran into the living room & announced, “Mommy’s making can’t tells!”  Ever since then we have called cinnamon rolls “can’t tells”. 

Rachel & Isaac (as well as Colson & Josiah) were with us on Thanksgiving morning & partook in the parade & can’t tells.  Jess came over with Jeff, her boyfriend, at 10:30 & had can’t tells, too.  They brought Tidus, their 6 month old English Bulldog.  He & Fiona wore each other out!  Wait a minute!  I haven’t told you about Fiona! 

In mid-August, Isaac’s girlfriend Holly Lantz got a puppy.  His name is Barrett, & he is 1/2 Malamute & 1/2 Yellow Lab.  He was so absolutely adorable!  Knowing that Hattie & Molly are getting old (11 & 12 respectively), I decided we needed to check those puppies out.  I wanted Hattie to teach the puppy the rules of the household before she's gone.  Molly wouldn't teach anything, because she's a grouch.  We call her Molly Hag.  Isaac got us in contact with the owners & we drove over to the boonies in Noble county to see them.  They had 3 left, 1 male & 2 females.  When we first pulled into the drive, one of the pups came charging at us.  He was so cute!  But then we went into the back yard & I spied little Fiona laying under a picnic table.  She wasn’t jumpy or crazy like the other two were.  She had the most unusual markings.  She is black with tan eyebrows & a tan chin line.  All four paws are tan with little black dots on each toe.  It’s like she has her nails painted!  We decided she needed to come home with us.  She has been a great dog so far.  She’s very intelligent & responsive.  She’s a talker, too.  She does this thing that definitely is a communication thing.  It’s not barking, but it’s not whining either.  It’s the most adorable thing!

OK.  Now that you know about Fiona, I’ll get back to Thanksgiving.  We were supposed to be at my dad’s at 2:00.  Around 1:40, Jeff asked to speak with Bob privately.  The next thing I knew, Jess, Jeff & Tidus left abruptly.  I asked Bob what happened.  Jeff told Bob that he planned to ask Jess to marry him & he wanted Bob’s blessing.  Bob told him that he could not give his blessing to their engagement unless they stopped living together.  We believe & have taught all of our kids that Scripture teaches that God created sex exclusively for marriage.  It was a tough stand to take, but the right one.

Our Thanksgiving afternoon was a bit rough after that.  We went to my dad’s for Thanksgiving dinner.  It was our first holiday without my mom.  My dad was so eager for us to come over!  He was very excited that nearly everyone in the family would be there.  Austin, of course, was still in Connecticut.  Jess did come with Tidus.  We were a little delayed in eating because Jess & Bob were talking in one of the bedrooms.  We had a wonderful meal together, with much laughter & cajoling.  Dessert was compliments of Aunt Pam.  She made the crusts for 3 pies (she’s a killer pie maker!); I just filled them with pudding.  We had a peanutbutter pie, a banana cream pie & a chocolate pie.  Of course there was football.  And there was much reminiscing about my mom.  It was hard to leave my dad that night.  I know he probably cried himself to sleep because he misses her so & he sorely missed her presence on that holiday. 

Even though 2010 so far had been very difficult for our entire family, we still had so much to thank God for.  As Habakkuk 3:17,18 says, “Though the fig tree does not bud & there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails & the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen & no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 6)

                             Mother, Father & All of the Anderson Aunts                                              (from left: Cathy, Kim, Pam, Deb, Sandi & Betty)

Sorry it’s been a while since I posted.  I’ve been sick with a sinus infection & haven’t done much of anything for a while.  I still am battling the infection, but feel a little better, so I’m going to pick up where I left off in my last post.

On the day that my dad had his pericardial procedure, Bob received a phone call while visiting my dad.  It was Parkview Home Health calling about a position that Bob had applied for a while back.  They were calling to offer the position to Bob!  We were all thrilled!  That was a gigantic answer to prayer!  I saw an instant transformation in Bob.  His confidence suddenly came back & he carried himself much differently.

After his stroke, Bob questioned what God wanted to do with his life.  He was called by God to enter the ministry when he was 21 years old.  At that time, he was attending Ball State University.  He was in his sophomore year, & by that time he had changed his major 3 times!  He began as a pre-med student, aiming to become a pediatrician.  Then he decided to major in chemistry.  After that he changed his major to geology (of all things!  Studying rocks!).  While a student at Ball State, he became involved in a parachurch organization called The Navigators.  They are a very solid organization whose goal is to make disciples who will go out & influence every area of our culture for Jesus Christ.  Navs had a profound impact on Bob & really caused him to reevaluate his purpose in life.  Through much prayer & seeking God, Bob felt the tug of the Holy Spirit directing him to become a pastor.

During the summer following his sophomore year, God continued to confirm his calling to Bob.  He spent some time with his Navs group on a canoe trip in Cadillac, Michigan.  The main purpose of that trip was to grow deeper in his relationship with God.  While surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation, each person was to spend time alone with God.  This trip had a huge impact on Bob.  When he got home, he met with my dad who had been mentoring him for a year or so.  My dad told him that he couldn’t very well learn how to become a pastor at Ball State, so he needed to find a Bible college to transfer to so that he could be adequately trained to become a pastor.  After researching several Christian colleges & universities in Indiana, he decided to attend Fort Wayne Bible College.  He graduated in 1984 with a major in Pastoral Ministries & a minor in Greek.

His stroke caused him to reconsider what God’s purpose for him was.  As he rehabilitated, we began to see that God was healing him.  His speech was a huge problem, & through much speech therapy he got to the point where we believed he could speak publicly again.  We thought God was going to have him resume his duties as Senior Pastor at County Line Church of God.  As you now know, God was NOT going that direction with Bob’s life.  At the time Bob was offered the job with Parkview, he had been out of the ministry for 10 months.  By that time, Bob was questioning if he would ever be involved in ministry again.  He had applied for some positions in churches but had not heard back from them.  A month or so after he applied for the Parkview hospice chaplain position we learned that he was one of three candidates for the job.  He then did a more extensive interview before peers of that position.  It was several weeks before he received the offer.  We later learned that we knew the other two candidates - one was my 2nd cousin!

After my father was released from the hospital, Connie, Kristie & I began meeting at his house on a weekly basis to sort through my mom’s “stuff”.  My mom had more stuff than she knew what to do with!  She was a super shopper!  She found more things on sale at ridiculous prices than anyone I know!  Her weakness, though, was that she would see an item at a ridiculously low price & even though she didn’t need it, she would rationalize that someday she could use it.  Well, she has what we sisters call “Kmart North”.  She has an entire bedroom filled to the ceiling with all kinds of decorative items.  She also has two attics filled to the brim, as well as a storage room in the basement chock full of stuff.  The basement is known as “Kmart South”.  When the flood in the basement occurred, all of her “stuff” from the basement was moved to the garage.  That’s “Kmart East”.  My dad can finally park in the garage again, but half of the garage is stacked to the ceiling with “stuff” that we have to sort through.  As you can see, we have an arduous task ahead of us.  My dad keeps threatening us girls that if we don’t take care of all of that stuff, he’s just going to call an auction company to haul it all away & sell it for him.  We argue with him that there are heirlooms in all of her stuff, & only we know what is valuable to family & what is just “stuff”.  So far he hasn’t called anyone to come & take it all away!

I’ve previously mentioned that my dad has six sisters.  Well, these women have really gone above & beyond to help their older brother following the loss of their sister-in-law whom they all loved dearly.  Ever since my mom died, they have gone over to my dad’s house one day a week & have worked to get his home in order (he can’t stand clutter).  They have scrubbed & sorted, packed & stacked, washed all of his laundry, incorporated the help of their husbands to fix structural problems, weeded all of his flowerbeds, prepared his plants for winter, cleaned out his shed...  They have been VERY busy women!  They have no idea what their acts of love have meant to my dad.  He has a hard time holding back his tears when he talks about his sisters.  They have exemplified the true meaning of “family” in all they have done for him & he is overwhelmed by their love.  Between all 9 “Anderson Girls”, he has been taken care of.  But we realize that all 9 of us cannot replace all that my mother meant to him.  She is grievously missed.


On Tuesday, November 8th, our family was again affected by tragedy.  Todd’s nephew was driving to visit his grandparents, Richard & Barbara Bussen.  He was on Tonkel Road headed north.  At some point, his girlfriend Erica Shepard turned onto Tonkel Road in front of Trevor.  She didn’t notice that he was behind her, so while cresting a small hill, he pulled beside her to get her attention.  Just as she was able to see his car in her side-view mirror, Trevor’s car was struck head-on at over 55 mph by a full-sized van.  Trevor’s car was crushed by the impact.  Erica ended up in a ditch, & the passenger of the van, 21-year-old Desiare Martin, was ejected through the windshield & killed.  Miss Martin was in a wheelchair, which was strapped securely in the van.  The impact of colliding vehicles was so forceful that the straps snapped, causing Miss Martin to be ejected.  Erica got out of her car to see if she could help the others, & realized for the first time that the car passing her was Trevor’s.  As she began to approach his car, it burst into flames.

Barbara was worried when Trevor didn’t show up.  When she heard the sirens of rescue vehicles, she & Richard left their house to drive Trevor’s route to see if he was involved in an accident.  They came upon the scene & learned that Trevor was in fact involved & that he had perished.  Trevor was 18.  He was the son of Todd’s brother Trent Bussen, & Trent’s 1st wife Diana Storms.

The sudden stunning loss of someone so young, lively & full of vigor, someone that was such close family to Todd & his kids, was a harsh blow to our whole family.  Kristie was able to spend a lot of time with her kids immediately following Trevor’s death.  Todd was visibly shaken by Trevor’s death.  Alyssa, Alec & Abbi were able to attend his funeral, but Austin was still in Connecticut in sub school & was not given leave to attend.  Our hearts grieve for the entire Bussen family - Todd’s parents Richard & Barbara, his brothers Tim, Terry, Ted, Tom, Troy & their families, & mostly for Trent, Diana & their families.  Their lives have been devastated & their hearts crushed.  Please pray for the Bussen family as they continue to grieve.  Pray that God will comfort them & somehow bring them peace in the midst of such tragic loss.

2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 5)

As the day of my mom’s home-going drew nearer, we spent as much time with my mom as we could.  I didn’t want to get to the end of her life & then say that I wish I would have made more time to spend with her.  What I do wish is that there were more hours in a day so that I could have had more time to spend!  God stopped the Earth from orbiting the sun one time, so couldn’t he slow things down a bit to lengthen our days?  That would have been nice! 

September 30th one of the last repairs to their basement took place - the new carpet was laid.  That really excited my mom because she had a very special gift for my dad that was being delivered with the carpet.  She had purchased a navy blue leather recliner for him.  I don’t think he’s ever had his own designated chair before.  He was floored (get the pun?  I am my father’s daughter, you know).  It took all of the strength she had to walk down the stairs to the basement, & then back up.  But nothing was going to keep her from seeing the expression on her Bunny’s face (she has always called him her Honey Bunny, or Bunny for short) when he saw that chair!  Ever since she gave him that chair, it has been the most prestigious chair in the house.

Some of you will be shocked at this, some of you will be puzzled & some will say, “Well, duh!”.  Two days before she passed, my mother was still working on finishing her projects.  She had to get them done!  She enlisted the help of several friends who were gracious enough to do a lot of the finishing work that she was no longer able to do.  At this point she couldn’t write legibly.  She was hardly able to even hold a pencil.  By this time wasn’t eating much of anything at all.  She only drank enough to get her pain pills down.  She slept a lot.  She stayed in her bed most of the time from this point on.

Saturday, October 2nd, my dad made the decision to get Hospice involved.  He no longer could handle her care.  A very kind nurse came that day & basically just collected information about my mom.  That day she was able to come sit in the living room some, but she was slowing down considerably.  Many people visited her in the last few days of her life.  Ray Harrison, the Visitation Pastor at Grabill Missionary Church, stopped by often to check up on her.  One of her cousins drove down from the Hillsdale, Michigan area just to see her one last time  After she saw my mom, she drove right back home.  Neighbors came by with food for my dad & hugs for my mom.  Several people who don’t live around here called to talk with her one last time.  People cried.  No one wanted to say goodbye.  But all who saw her on Saturday & Sunday knew that they had seen her for the last time until Heaven. 

My grandma, Doris Hersha, visited her with my Uncle Rich (Hersha).  My mom was so weak that my dad had to help support her as she tried to walk down the hallway to the living room.  She sat down with them & kind of slumped into the sofa.  She was unable to sit up straight, she was so frail.  That was a very hard time for everyone.  We gave them privacy as they said their farewells.  It was very difficult for my grandma to see her youngest child so fragile & close to eternity.  Uncle Rich couldn’t believe that the little sister who once wrecked his sports car was going to reach the Pearly Gates before he would.  I wonder if tires squeal when you peel out on golden streets?  Hmm.  If anyone would try that, it would be my mom!  She always said her dream was to drive around the Indy 500 track as fast as she could. 

On Sunday, Hospice came out & got her cleaned up & made sure she was medicated sufficiently.  Surprisingly, that was the extent of Hospice care she received.  We knew that she was closing in on her final breath, but we didn’t realize how soon it would be.  After saying “goodbye” to her mother & brother, there were only a few others that she needed to talk to for the last time.  She spoke with Alyssa & Isaac in the afternoon.  I shouldn’t say she spoke, because she really couldn’t say much most of the day.  She was just too weak.  But they talked to her & she listened with tears in her eyes.  She was so proud of all of her grandchildren!  Then at about 10:30 that night, Austin called from Connecticut.  He was the last person that she listened to over the phone.

Early in the morning on Monday, October 4th, my mother & my friend went home to be with her Lord & Saviour.  She was at peace with His will & she died as serenely as one could ever hope.  She literally had a smile on her face as she breathed her last breath.  Her beloved furry companions, Micah (a Westie) & Emma (a Shih Tzu), were at the foot of her bed when she passed.  Even they could sense that eternity was drawing near for her. 

The following Friday we held the visitation at County Line (Grabill Missionary - where my parents have attended since the early 1980’s - had a wedding that weekend so the funeral couldn’t be held there).  My mom had a picture drawn for us to use for reference while we decorated the stage.  Just like her!  I’ve never been to a funeral where the stage was decorated, but my mom wanted it to be a beautiful backdrop that reflected who she was.  So many people came to pay their respects.  Connie, Kristie & I have always said that our dad’s funeral will be exhausting just because of the number of people who will want to pay their respects, but we had no idea of the breadth of influence & love our mom had.  Over 1000 people came that day!  Yes, it was definitely an exhausting day!  But it was a good day, too.  She would have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from so many.  The following day was her Celebration.  There wasn’t going to be a funeral.  It was a time of celebration that she was receiving her reward - eternity with Jesus.  She did things in a unique way, as was always her way of doing anything!  She was buried first, with the Celebration following.  The burial was private, with only family & very close friends in attendance.  For her Celebration, the Worship Center was full.  The service was just as she had envisioned it - uplifting, personal, Christ-honoring & full of hope. 

In the days following her Celebration, we spent time with my dad.  How does a person go from being a 24/7 caregiver for a year to being alone?  It was extremely difficult for my dad to go on in life without his helpmate.  The cards that people sent really lifted him up & brought strength to his spirit.  The Monday following her passing, Connie, Kristie, my dad & I went to Das Essenhaus in Middlebury for dinner.  We just wanted to be together on the 1-week anniversary of her passing.  We had a great time on the drive to & from the restaurant.  We talked a lot about memories we had of my mom.  She always loved Essenhaus.  She liked to roam through the shops & enjoyed herself there even if she didn’t buy anything. 

Two weeks following her home-going, I got a call from Connie (what is with her always calling me to give me bad news?) saying that our dad was in the ER & had suffered a mild heart attack.  What???  After tests were run, we learned that he had a build-up of fluid in his pericardium.  The fluid was beginning to constrict the heart, causing the pain he experienced.  He was admitted on Thursday & wasn’t allowed to return home until the following Tuesday.  He had a couple of procedures done during that time, but most of the time he was just lying there bored out of his mind.  Well, that’s what he told us anyway.  Connie, Kristie & I thought that between the 3 of us, plus Bob, plus all of his grandkids, plus all of his sisters, we did a good job of keeping him entertained! 

2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 4)

HOW COULD I FORGET July 11, 2010???  That is when Bob preached for the first time since his stroke in March, 2009!  Dale Rabineau, the pastor at Christ’s Church at Butler, was going to be on vacation with his family.  They needed someone to fill the pulpit in his absence, & my Uncle Eli & Aunt Deb Fuentes thought of Bob.  When Bob first got the request, he was hesitant.  But on faith, he said he would do it.  He was scared just like he was over 25 years ago when he preached his first sermon at Grabill Missionary Church, where he interned.  In his first sermon at GMC, he was preaching about David & Goliath.  He got tongue-tied at one point & said, “Ga-ga-ga-Goliath”.  My sister Kristie has NEVER let him live that down!  Anyway, he said he’d preach on July 11th @ Christ’s Church @ Butler.  He pulled out one of the last sermons he was ever able to preach as a senior pastor at County Line Church of God, & he tweaked it so that it would be up to date.  He went over it I don’t know how many times, to make sure he had it right.  That morning he was a little clammy & pale, but the summer heat warmed him up.  We prayed together before the service started, just the two of us.  He was sure he could do it, but he was afraid his speech would get jumbled & confusing.  We sat where we always sit - in the front.  Next thing you know, Uncle Eli was introducing him to the congregation.  He leaned over to me & said, “Pray for me!”  He really slurred the words when he said that.  Then he stood up, walked on stage & the Holy Spirit took ahold of his voice!  He preached the entire sermon without slurring, stuttering or stammering.  He never got lost in his notes, not even once.  God spoke that morning through Bob, just like He had done for years at County Line.  After he had finished, he walked down & sat next to me.  He grabbed my hand & squeezed it, then leaned over and said, “How did I do?”  When he asked that question, his speech again was slurred.  It is just amazing to us that when he prays or even preaches, his speech is crystal clear without hesitation or hiccups.  I told him that day that God has more for him to do.  He has more for him to say.  He’s not done with Bob Herman yet!

A couple weeks after we learned of my mom’s terminal condition, I had the thrill of taking my first child to college.  No, not my first child, but the first one to go away to college.  Rachel & I helped move Isaac into his apartment in Evansville.  A 6+ hour drive.  Wal-Mart to stock the cupboards.  Coming home with one less kid - PRICELESS!  Isaac was where God wanted him to be & we were confident that Isaac was safe in God’s hands.  On the long drive home, it was nice to have all that time to chit-chat with Rachel.  Since she lives with Connie, we don’t get to hang out a lot.  Surprisingly, I think I talked more than Rachel (wink-wink).

In early September I did something I never thought I’d have to do.  I applied for Food Stamps & Medicaid.  The last of our severance pay came in July & we used that money to pay off some bills.  We didn’t have a savings, I can’t work because I’m disabled & even though Bob began working at Hobby Lobby in mid-July, he didn’t make enough money to buy groceries & gas for a month, let alone pay the rent & everything else.  God gives grace to the humble, so I humbled myself & accepted the grace He was providing, even if it came through our state government.  God had the most helpful person in the local DFR office help me that day, because she made sure we qualified for everything that we possibly could qualify for.  She was a great blessing.  I am not ashamed to have to rely on government aid to survive.  God gave us the government we have & in that government He saw fit to make provision to aid people like us facing hardship.  I see it as a very temporary arrangement & we are working hard to get to the point where we no longer need state assistance.  So for now, it is God’s way of providing for us & we are grateful.

For most of September we spent as much time with my mom as possible.  We knew her time was short.  We thought we had to be careful not to wear her out, but she was a woman on a mission & there was no slowing her down!  She did everything she could not to let anyone see how tired she truly was.  In her mind she had many projects that she wanted to finish before she was gone, & those projects are what kept her with us as long as we had her.  She pushed through the pain & exhaustion so that she could serve people she loved one last time.  As the days went on, the effects of her disease became visible.  Her legs were covered with bruises.  In a weird twist, her hair started to grow!  By the end of her life she was wearing her wig less & less because she actually had hair again.  We have no idea how long she has had gray hair (she’s been an avid hair-froster for as long as I can remember), but her gray hair was a beautiful crown upon her head.  As her final days grew nearer, her radiance increased all the more.  In mid-September we had family photos taken by Terri Christner (www.averymichaelphotography.com).  God worked it out so that Austin, Kristie’s son who is serving our country in the Navy, could come home on emergency leave so that he could be with his Mimi one last time this side of Heaven.  Terri took amazing photos!  Looking at those photos, it’s hard to believe how deathly ill my mom was.  At one point, Terri had her look to the sky like she was looking towards Heaven.  My mom started to cry.  We asked her why she was crying, & she said “Because I want to go there so bad!”  That just about got everyone in tears, which is really bad for all of the females with mascara on!  I, of course, wore waterproof mascara.

The following week we met with Karen Smith at Smith & Brown Funeral Home in Hicksville, Ohio.  We helped my mom & dad in the planning of her funeral.  Karen did an exceptional job with us that day.  Is it OK to say that we actually had fun together?  Well, OK or not, we probably laughed more in the time we were there than those walls had ever heard!  I mean, it can’t be fun to plan a funeral, but just being together was fun even though we were doing a very serious thing.  My mom was so full of life & spunk!  Karen couldn’t help but laugh at the bantering back & forth between my mom & the three of us girls!  My dad just rolled his eyes & we heard him say, “Yes, dear” a lot.  After planning her Celebration, we had to pick out her casket.  As soon as we walked into the room, she saw the one she liked most.  It was a silvery light blue, with a white inner lining.  My dad was shocked to learn that it was one of the least expensive caskets they sold!  He was used to my mom always having better taste than he could afford, so this was a real change for him!  She had planned out what she would wear for her burial, & she even had her friend Barb Funnell making some special fluffy pillows for her out of the most plush light pink fabric I had ever felt.  It was a relief to get that step out of the way.

2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 3)

Isaac & his Mimi on the day he left for college

I forgot to mention earlier the disaster that my parents came home to.  Well, In late May when Connie & I were in Rochester, Minnesota to help my parents move back home, my dad got a call from Alec (Kristie’s son).  He went over to their house to get the heat turned on for my mom & to make sure things were clean & ready for them to come home.  When he went down to the basement he opened the door & discovered over 6 inches of standing water covering the basement floor!  The Friday before (he called on Sunday) there was a torrential downpour that flooded the area.  Many people had flooding problems in their homes.  Apparently the sump pump in their basement wasn’t working & my dad didn’t know.  Since no one was home, no one knew about the flooding so it just sat for a couple days, soaking into the drywall & studs, as well as the furniture, books, carpet, etc.  Thankfully the men involved in “A Cup of Cold Water”, a group of men who use their home repair skills to serve people in their church (Grabill Missionary), were able to come to the rescue.  Mike Davis became the point man until my dad got home.  L&L Specialists (a company owned by Bob’s cousins) came in & cut off the bottom 4 or 5 inches of the bottom of every wall & placed blowers all over so that the drywall could dry & took care of the mold that was growing already.  Mike & his crew moved all of the furniture, books, decorations, decorations & decorations out of the basement & put them in the garage.  It took a long time before my mom was able to go to the basement.  She never really did spend much time there again. 

Back to July.  A couple of weeks after my mom helped Bob get a job, we had the Anderson Summer Gathering at Uncle Steve & Aunt Cathy’s.  This is a day we always look forward to.  My dad & his 6 sisters (Betty Bowyer, Sandi Anderson, Pam Norton, Cathy Culler, Kim Culbertson & Debbie Fuentes) have quite the large clan going these days!  There are always new kids showing up every year.  If I count correctly, Cloyd & Alta (Inlow) Anderson have 69 family members, most of whom show up for this party.  My mom was feeling well enough to attend that day & she had a great time seeing people.  She looked great that day!  She still had a very sensitive stomach because of the radiation burn to her colon, but she didn’t pass up Uncle Steve’s homemade ice cream! 

From the time she was released from Parkview in May through August, my mom had to go in to the oncology office for weekly (or biweekly) labs & infusions.  She liked to get the infusions later in the week so that she could have active weekends with friends & family.  The infusion of electrolytes, anti-nausea meds & sometimes blood products always made her feel better.  She loved it when she felt good enough to go to church, but because she was so fragile & weak from all she had been through she didn’t get to attend every week. 



The first week of August she went in for her regularly scheduled labs.  Early in the week everything was normal.  However, when she went in on Friday, August 6th, everything had changed dramatically.  I got a call from Connie telling me that her labs were bad & my parents wanted us at the oncology office pronto.  The three of us girls squeezed into a small infusion room with our parents while my mom finished her infusion.  When she talked about what was going on, she cried, not out of fear but out of a deep sorrow for her family.  My dad was crying, too.  He could hardly speak at times.  Several of the nurses who had helped her with her infusions over the past few months came in & told her how sorry they were to hear that her cancer was back.  Many of them had tears in their eyes when they spoke to her.  Dr. Nattam ordered a bone marrow draw the following Monday, with an appointment scheduled on Wednesday, August 11, to go over the results.

On Wednesday, August 11th (my parents’ 47th anniversary), Connie, Kristie, Bob & I met my parents at the office on what turned out to be a tragic day.  Dr. Nattam came in & sat down beside my mom.  He held her hand as he told us that the cancer was back, & it had come back aggressively with a furious vengeance.  She had already gone through the most severe chemo protocol that Mayo Clinic had ever given a patient, so all conventional chemo treatments would be of no value.  There was one chemo that is in the approval stage with the FDA that Dr. Nattam thought might be worth trying, but since it wasn’t on the market, he would have to jump through many hoops to get it for her.  In reality, there was nothing more that could be done for her.  When Dr. Nattam had finished, we were all in tears.  My dad said he wanted to pray.  Dr. Nattam, the man my mom had been pursuing with the gospel, prayed with us.  He was visibly shaken because he had gotten to know my parents & grew to hold my mom in a special place in his heart.  He told one of his nurses later that he had never witnessed such faith in his life. 

As soon as Bob & I got out to our car, I checked my phone (Bob & I left our phones in the car because we didn’t want to be interrupted during the appointment) & saw that Bob’s mom had been trying to call.  Bob called her & learned that our nephew, Chadd Kelley, was at Parkview having brain surgery following some sort of hemorrhage.  We went straight from Parkview North where my mom’s oncologist’s office was, to Parkview Main where Chadd’s family had gathered.  Chadd is Bob’s brother Bill’s son.  Chadd had experienced an arteriovenous malformation (AVM) near his brain stem.  It is a condition that he was born with, but no one ever knew existed.  Had they known about it, he could have had surgery to repair it before anything like this happened.  Most individuals with this condition die from it before the are old enough to drive.  Chadd is 28.  He most likely survived so long without a problem because he is a health ox.  That morning he woke up with a terrible headache.  His friend, Jerry, called 911 for help.  Chadd was conscious until he got into the ambulance.  Later that night we were able to visit him in the Critical Care Unit.  His wife Sarah was by his side, talking to him, touching him & loving him.  He had a tracheotomy & was on a ventilator.  Chadd is so tall that his feet hung over the bed, so they adapted the bed to accommodate his height.  The CCU lobby was filled with friends & family who came to comfort each other, Sarah & Chadd’s mom Judy.  That day was an exhausting day, in many ways.  We learned that my mom had a very short time to live & also had the unthinkable happen to Chadd, who was young & in perfect health.

2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 2)

My mom & me at the Anderson Summer Gathering

Not long after we got back home from Florida, trouble struck again.  My mom’s Fort Wayne oncologist, Dr. Nattam, sent her to Mayo Clinic for evaluation.  The world’s leading expert in Multiple Myeloma is on staff at Mayo.  While going through the process of harvesting stem cells for a stem cell transplant, my mom became very ill.  The doctors told my dad that it was a reaction to one of the medications used to stimulate production of stem cells.  She received several of these shots prior to the stem cell harvesting (where they essentially drill a hole into your hip bone & use a syringe to suck out the cells), & of course they seldom have had anyone react to the shots.  They had never dealt with a patient quite like my mom.   Because they believed her severe pain, nausea & vomiting was all related to the shots, they sent her home (a 12 hour trip!) to recover.  That proved to be a mistake.  She wasn’t home for 2 days before she was in the ER @ Parkview.  She was so sick, & my dad didn’t know what to do to help her.  They admitted her & found that she had a mass growing in her abdomen, near her left kidney.  They began radiation therapy to shrink the mass, but after one treatment decided to return her via ambulance to Mayo Clinic for further treatment.  And so began the first of several treks to Rochester, Minnesota.  My mom spent a large portion of 2010 in the Mayo Clinic (St. Mary’s Hospital to be specific).  February to early March; Mid-March to the end of May.  Things became even more complicated because while doing the radiation, the laser burned part of her intestine, & that caused her to become severely nauseous & she vomited several times an hour.  She could hardly keep anything down, & she was dropping weight too fast.  She hated being cooped up in that hospital room, but because of the stem cell transplant she had to be very cautious about germs.  I remember the first time she was allowed to go outside.  My dad had gone to the hotel to shower, so Connie & I got her in a wheel chair, covered her up with several blankets, put a hat on her & took her to the great outdoors!  It was a mildly windy Spring day with the sun shining brilliantly & staggered clouds gently floating by.  She just soaked the beauty in!  We were heading around the corner to go back into the hospital when we saw my dad walking out of the parking garage.  We yelled, “Father!”  Nothing.  “Bob Anderson!”  Nothing.  Finally my mom mustered up enough strength & yelled as loud as she could (cancer took her yelling ability away!), “Bunny!”  Boy, his head whipped around so fast it’s a wonder the orbit of the Earth didn’t shift!  He knew that voice, & he couldn’t believe that she was outside!  That was a beautiful day. 

On May 23rd, she was finally released to go home following her stem cell transplant.  She was only home for one day & ended up back as an in-patient at Parkview for another week+.  Her electrolytes were really out of whack & she was vomiting to excess again.  She was discharged from Parkview on June 4th, the day of Isaac’s graduation.  That was the last time she was in a hospital.  We didn’t think it would be her last time ever because her stem cell transplant worked & she was free of cancer cells.  She had a new lease on life!  A second birth, so to speak.  We fully believed God had healed her & she would be with us for a little while longer.  Little did we know what was coming.

Lets back up to March.  God provided for us in an unusual way.  In April, 2008, I was forced to stop working at Dupont Hospital as a Unit Tech (I LOVED my job at Dupont!) because of my neck & back.  They had been a painful issue for years because of structural defects in throughout my whole spine.  All of the lifting, pushing, pulling, etc. that I did with my job caused severe pain in my back & neck.  The pain got to be too much for me, which is why I was forced to stop working.  I immediately started the application process for disability.  Applying for disability is a long process, & an endeavor not to attempt without the help of an attorney.  After being denied twice, I finally had a hearing before an administrative law judge on March 18th.  That was my final chance at disability designation.  I must have looked like a train wreck that day, because in a highly uncharacteristic move, the Judge ruled from the bench that I was to be granted disability status!  She, as well as my attorney, stated that she NEVER does that!  God moves the heart of the king (and the judge) wherever He choses!  Because of her ruling, I became eligible for Medicare coverage in October.  I also began to receive a modest monthly check from Social Security, which helped with our financial issues.

In early June our son Isaac graduated from Lakewood Park Christian School.  Three down, two to go!  My nephew Alec also graduated in 2010, from my alma mater, Leo High School.  We had back-to-back parties for Alec & Isaac - Alec’s from 1 to 4 & Isaac’s from 4 to ??.  My mom was able to come to each party for a short while, which made both Isaac & Alec very happy.  Later in June Bob & I visited the University of Southern Indiana with Isaac, where he decided to attend.  The following weekend we had a huge celebration for my mom’s 65th birthday!  Never have we been so happy for her to grow a year older!  Cancer teaches you to cherish the little milestones.

July 7th was our 25th Anniversary!  It is so hard to believe it’s been that long that we’ve been married.  Not like it’s been bad or anything!  It’s just that it doesn’t seem like it’s been 25 years.  So many things have happened in those years.  God has been faithful in every moment, & whether we have had good times or hard times, He has always seen us through.  Poor Bob didn’t realize that we our marriage would be tested by sickness instead of health, & for poorer rather than for richer!  I can honestly say that I love Bob more today than I ever imagined I could 25 years ago.  This was our first anniversary in unemployment, though, which made our dream of spending it in Hawaii impossible.  We would have settled for Colorado, but that was equally impossible.  So we spent the evening in good ol’ Fort Wayne.  The County Line staff gave us a Cork & Cleaver gift certificate in January, which we used for our anniversary.  Have you ever had their ice cream pie?  The two of us had a hard time finishing it, it was so big!  That’s saying a lot - Bob couldn’t finish it!  Ask the County Line staff & they will tell you without hesitation that “Bob NEVER refuses food!”

Later in July my mom visited what used to be her frequent “haunt”, Hobby Lobby.  She was well-known by the management.  Is that a good thing?  Well, in her case it was.  They sometimes would hold things back for her because they knew that she would love that item!  While talking to Steve Rubin, the manager, about her health, she asked him a strange question.  “Do you have any job openings?”  I don’t know if Steve thought she wanted a job or what, but he asked why she inquired.  She told Steve about Bob & the circumstances we were in.  Steve told her to have Bob stop in sometime & he would talk to him.  Bob had been filling out applications all over since the 1st of February, but in this economy, finding a job - any job - is difficult.  Finding a job in ministry proved to be even more difficult.  Since we were so desperately in need of a job, Bob went in right away.  Steve offered him a part-time job as a stockman.  He never even had him fill out an application!  It only paid $8/hour, but it was a JOB!  Bob was thrilled!  Finally he could provide something for his family.  He unloads trucks, stocks merchandise, helps customers with large purchases, sweeps, mops, cleans the bathrooms...  His first few weeks were exhausting for him!  But he’s in great shape now because of the physical nature of work he does at Hobby Lobby.  Working there has been a type of physical therapy for him.  He has seen many friends while working there.  Next time you are in Hobby Lobby (or Bobby Lobby as Kevin McIntire now calls it), look him up (or have one of the cashiers call for him on the intercom) & say hi!

2010 - A Year in Retrospect (PART 1)

                    2005 COUNTY LINE CHURCH OF GOD STAFF                                Dane Kruse (Youth), Bob (Senior), Stuart Kruse (Associate) & Kevin McIntire (Worship)

 

I remember New Year’s Eve, 2009.  While I can’t tell you where I was when the ball dropped at midnight that night (most likely I was at home with my hubby), I can tell you what I was thinking.  “YES!  The worst year of my life is over!  Please, God, let 2010 be a much kinder, gentler year for us!”  The reason 2009 was such a horrible year is because of what happened on March 31, 2009.  That was the day Bob suffered a massive stroke due to a carotid artery dissection.  The rest of 2009 was filled with many prayers & much frustration as Bob struggled to overcome the loss of function he experienced as a result of his stroke.  He had to re-learn to move his fingers, grasp things, remember what simple objects were called (he couldn’t remember what a paper clip was called), walk, dress himself, stand without tipping over...  He had to re-learn how to live again.  By New Year’s Eve, 2009, Bob was back at work at the church working 40 hours a week.  He wasn’t preaching again yet because he wasn’t able to preach 3 services back-to-back (something the church leaders said he had to be able to do before he was allowed to preach again), but it was his goal to begin preaching in the early part of 2010.  Because of how far Bob had rehabilitated, we anticipated that 2010 would be a year of God blessing Bob’s ministry.  Little did we know what was coming.

On New Year’s Day, 2010, we all were aware of my mom’s cancer.  She learned of it in October, 2009, after she fell in the attic while getting decorations for Christmas.  Yes, my mother the decorator, the Christmas Queen, always began to decorate for Christmas just after Isaac’s birthday on October 30th.  By mid-November she would have her home reborn into a Christmas wonderland.  Because of her fall, she visited her doctor, who ordered x-rays to see if she had broken any ribs in the fall.  That is how her cancer was first detected.  So we started off the New Year with the knowledge that it could be our last year with my mom.  I don’t think anyone really thought it would be so, though.  I know I didn’t believe we would lose her.  I couldn’t imagine losing her.  The thought of life without my mom was just unthinkable to me, and to many others as well.  God couldn’t be done using her to minister for Him.  Again, little did we know what was coming.

It wasn’t long until we realized that New Year’s Day isn’t anything really special.  It’s just another day, like any other day.  Sure, we make resolutions on New Year’s Eve, and we like to think that everything in the universe begins anew on January 1st, but reality proves otherwise.  Life isn't going to start over again just because we changed the calendar.  Life continues to march on, oblivious to our resolutions.

January 11, 2010, is a day that changed our lives forever.  It was a Monday morning, & in a meeting called by the Ministry Leadership Team (MLT for short), Bob & I met with 3 members of the MLT who told us that in a unanimous vote, the MLT at County Line Church decided to “ask” Bob to resign from his position as senior pastor.  The MLT is County Line’s equivalent to a church board of directors.  We were told that because of the state of financial disaster we were in (due to both Bob & my catastrophic health care expenses), coupled with the fact that we had adult children who were choosing to live in a way contrary to God’s Word, Bob was no longer fit to lead the church, & he needed to resign his position. The church by-laws make it impossible for a senior pastor to be fired without a congregational vote, & the MLT wanted to avoid going to that measure.  That is why he was “asked” to step down.  Thoughtfully, the MLT had prepared a resignation letter ahead of time for Bob to sign.  Because we were in a state of shock (& because we were told we would not be allowed to leave Bob’s office without first signing the resignation letter), Bob signed the document.  At the conclusion of the meeting, we were told that Bob could not take anything out of his office.  We were escorted to the exit doors of the church & told that we had to leave immediately.  Bob was not allowed to tell his staff goodbye or anything.  This hurt him deeply because of the love he has for the amazing people God had assembled to work along side him in ministry at County Line. 

I realize this information is news to a lot of people.  Some of you are shocked to read this.  Others of you suspected something like this all along, but just never had verification of your intuition.  There are reasons why it’s been almost a year since these events unfolded & this is the first time its been publicly addressed.  One reason is that we were told that if we talked about this event to anyone, the MLT would withhold the severance package they offered us.  The severance pay (divided up into payments in January, April & July) was our only source of income until Bob found another job, so because we didn’t want to jeopardize those funds, we went along with the MLT line that Bob resigned completely on his own volition.  We received the balance of the severance in July, but even after that we chose not to talk about this publicly because we felt that it was too soon to openly talk about it.  We also wanted to allow Stuart to get established in his role as senior pastor #23 before we spoke truthfully & openly about what really happened. 


Please do not bombard Stu with calls, emails or questions about this event.  This was not brought up to stir things up.  We are in no way bitter, angry or resentful because of what happened.  As Joseph told his brothers in Genesis 50:19, 20:  “Don’t be afraid.  Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done".  God can take something as devastating as this situation & use it to bring glory to Himself & to shape us more into His image.  We never would have chosen this path, but God has been with us faithfully as we have learned to walk on it.

About Stuart.  I would like to make it transparently evident that Stu had nothing to do with this event.  He was not aware of any decision by the MLT because he was not allowed to be in the “executive meetings” they held, where only MLT members are allowed to attend.  The MLT chairman did not inform Stu about their decision until the Saturday evening before it all went down.  Stu pleaded with him to at least allow Bob to remain at County Line in some capacity, like as a missions pastor, or an associate pastor.  He was told that Bob’s work at County Line was done, period.  Stu has been a faithful servant of God & loyal friend to Bob for 20 years prior to this event, & he continues to be that person today.  He & Tisha, who continue to be very close & trusted friends, have suffered through the ramifications of this decision, too.  It has been terribly difficult for Stuart to bear the knowledge of this event without being able to directly answer the questions of congregation members who suspected there was more going on than they had been told.  In our opinion, there is no one more qualified to lead the body of Christ at County Line than Stuart Kruse.  He is God’s man for that body, right now.  We pray that God will bless Stu, Nate, Dane, Steve, Kevin & Mary Ellen as they minister at County Line.  We pray that God will bring about unprecedented spiritual growth & deeper faith in the lives of everyone who calls County Line their home church.  After all, it's God's church, not Bob's or Stu's. 

The days following Bob’s dismissal from County Line were dark, depressing & filled with many questions.  That is why, immediately following the farewell reception the church held for us, Bob & I flew to Sarasota, Florida, for a week of recovery & reconnection.  We used the financial gifts that so many loving people gave us at the reception to pay for our trip.  It was good to just get away from Auburn & to go to a warm, sunny location for a bit.  We talked a lot, prayed a lot & cried a lot.  We slept a lot, too, because the whole situation had exhausted us in every way.  We needed that time together to try to process through the events of the previous few weeks.



THIS IS PART 1 IN A SERIES OF POSTS CALLED "2010 - A YEAR IN RETROSPECT".  IF YOU WANT TO READ THE FUTURE POSTS THAT WILL CONTINUE THE STORY OF OUR LAST YEAR, PLEASE CLICK ON THE "SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL" OR "SUBSCRIBE TO:" WORDS BELOW.  IF YOU DO THIS, YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED WHEN I POST PART 2 IN MY SERIES.  THANKS!