As the day of my mom’s home-going drew nearer, we spent as much time with my mom as we could. I didn’t want to get to the end of her life & then say that I wish I would have made more time to spend with her. What I do wish is that there were more hours in a day so that I could have had more time to spend! God stopped the Earth from orbiting the sun one time, so couldn’t he slow things down a bit to lengthen our days? That would have been nice!
September 30th one of the last repairs to their basement took place - the new carpet was laid. That really excited my mom because she had a very special gift for my dad that was being delivered with the carpet. She had purchased a navy blue leather recliner for him. I don’t think he’s ever had his own designated chair before. He was floored (get the pun? I am my father’s daughter, you know). It took all of the strength she had to walk down the stairs to the basement, & then back up. But nothing was going to keep her from seeing the expression on her Bunny’s face (she has always called him her Honey Bunny, or Bunny for short) when he saw that chair! Ever since she gave him that chair, it has been the most prestigious chair in the house.
Some of you will be shocked at this, some of you will be puzzled & some will say, “Well, duh!”. Two days before she passed, my mother was still working on finishing her projects. She had to get them done! She enlisted the help of several friends who were gracious enough to do a lot of the finishing work that she was no longer able to do. At this point she couldn’t write legibly. She was hardly able to even hold a pencil. By this time wasn’t eating much of anything at all. She only drank enough to get her pain pills down. She slept a lot. She stayed in her bed most of the time from this point on.
Saturday, October 2nd, my dad made the decision to get Hospice involved. He no longer could handle her care. A very kind nurse came that day & basically just collected information about my mom. That day she was able to come sit in the living room some, but she was slowing down considerably. Many people visited her in the last few days of her life. Ray Harrison, the Visitation Pastor at Grabill Missionary Church, stopped by often to check up on her. One of her cousins drove down from the Hillsdale, Michigan area just to see her one last time After she saw my mom, she drove right back home. Neighbors came by with food for my dad & hugs for my mom. Several people who don’t live around here called to talk with her one last time. People cried. No one wanted to say goodbye. But all who saw her on Saturday & Sunday knew that they had seen her for the last time until Heaven.
My grandma, Doris Hersha, visited her with my Uncle Rich (Hersha). My mom was so weak that my dad had to help support her as she tried to walk down the hallway to the living room. She sat down with them & kind of slumped into the sofa. She was unable to sit up straight, she was so frail. That was a very hard time for everyone. We gave them privacy as they said their farewells. It was very difficult for my grandma to see her youngest child so fragile & close to eternity. Uncle Rich couldn’t believe that the little sister who once wrecked his sports car was going to reach the Pearly Gates before he would. I wonder if tires squeal when you peel out on golden streets? Hmm. If anyone would try that, it would be my mom! She always said her dream was to drive around the Indy 500 track as fast as she could.
On Sunday, Hospice came out & got her cleaned up & made sure she was medicated sufficiently. Surprisingly, that was the extent of Hospice care she received. We knew that she was closing in on her final breath, but we didn’t realize how soon it would be. After saying “goodbye” to her mother & brother, there were only a few others that she needed to talk to for the last time. She spoke with Alyssa & Isaac in the afternoon. I shouldn’t say she spoke, because she really couldn’t say much most of the day. She was just too weak. But they talked to her & she listened with tears in her eyes. She was so proud of all of her grandchildren! Then at about 10:30 that night, Austin called from Connecticut. He was the last person that she listened to over the phone.
Early in the morning on Monday, October 4th, my mother & my friend went home to be with her Lord & Saviour. She was at peace with His will & she died as serenely as one could ever hope. She literally had a smile on her face as she breathed her last breath. Her beloved furry companions, Micah (a Westie) & Emma (a Shih Tzu), were at the foot of her bed when she passed. Even they could sense that eternity was drawing near for her.
The following Friday we held the visitation at County Line (Grabill Missionary - where my parents have attended since the early 1980’s - had a wedding that weekend so the funeral couldn’t be held there). My mom had a picture drawn for us to use for reference while we decorated the stage. Just like her! I’ve never been to a funeral where the stage was decorated, but my mom wanted it to be a beautiful backdrop that reflected who she was. So many people came to pay their respects. Connie, Kristie & I have always said that our dad’s funeral will be exhausting just because of the number of people who will want to pay their respects, but we had no idea of the breadth of influence & love our mom had. Over 1000 people came that day! Yes, it was definitely an exhausting day! But it was a good day, too. She would have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from so many. The following day was her Celebration. There wasn’t going to be a funeral. It was a time of celebration that she was receiving her reward - eternity with Jesus. She did things in a unique way, as was always her way of doing anything! She was buried first, with the Celebration following. The burial was private, with only family & very close friends in attendance. For her Celebration, the Worship Center was full. The service was just as she had envisioned it - uplifting, personal, Christ-honoring & full of hope.
In the days following her Celebration, we spent time with my dad. How does a person go from being a 24/7 caregiver for a year to being alone? It was extremely difficult for my dad to go on in life without his helpmate. The cards that people sent really lifted him up & brought strength to his spirit. The Monday following her passing, Connie, Kristie, my dad & I went to Das Essenhaus in Middlebury for dinner. We just wanted to be together on the 1-week anniversary of her passing. We had a great time on the drive to & from the restaurant. We talked a lot about memories we had of my mom. She always loved Essenhaus. She liked to roam through the shops & enjoyed herself there even if she didn’t buy anything.
Two weeks following her home-going, I got a call from Connie (what is with her always calling me to give me bad news?) saying that our dad was in the ER & had suffered a mild heart attack. What??? After tests were run, we learned that he had a build-up of fluid in his pericardium. The fluid was beginning to constrict the heart, causing the pain he experienced. He was admitted on Thursday & wasn’t allowed to return home until the following Tuesday. He had a couple of procedures done during that time, but most of the time he was just lying there bored out of his mind. Well, that’s what he told us anyway. Connie, Kristie & I thought that between the 3 of us, plus Bob, plus all of his grandkids, plus all of his sisters, we did a good job of keeping him entertained!
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